The respect issue often involves the teaching and policies regarding treatment of pastors- titles they are to be called, behavior towards them, and the activity of staff and flock who serve them.

Let me say clearly – I believe a pastor deserves respect. The average person does not understand the pressure on a pastor, the burden of responsibility he carries. He is an assistant shepherd to Jesus Himself, and will stand before Him to give a report on how he led and cared for the flock. Scripture is clear that pastors [elders] are to be honored and respected. Whenever possible I teach new churches, staffs, or elder teams on how they should respect and care for their pastor.

But there is a difference between Scriptural honoring and manufactured respect.

Why has this issue become a challenge for some? Why is there renewed interest in showing respect for pastors? A few reasons I see include…

1. Culture – since the 1960s in our country, respect for authority has been on the decline. Unpopular wars, political scandals, televangelist scandals, CEO crimes, the development of youth culture, etc have exposed leaders in our society to scrutiny and ultimately ridicule. We no longer respect parents, pastors, police or politicians just because of their position.
2. Church plants – by its very nature, a church plant is a brand new organism. It has no history, buildings, or programs which might lend credence to it being a “real church.” Plants also, by nature, go after the unchurched – people who have little understanding of Scripture, church, or the role of a pastor. And they reach de-churched people – those who’s memory of church may be damaged by pastors who abused their authority.
3. Younger pastors – this discussion seems to be stirred up most among younger leaders, those who don’t have as many years in ministry, who are the most susceptible to the questioning and criticism of a flock.

So where should our biblical teaching on authority-honoring come from: Old Testament or New Testament? What should be the Scriptural model for respecting pastors?

• “King?” I trust not. Our churches are not monarchies – they are families.

• “Priest?” Yes, there are some similarities in function and principles that can be examined. But the “office” has gone away with the Law, and besides, we live in a time when every member has a “priesthood” role.

• “Prophet?” Yes, again, due to some similarities of ministry.

But the instruction on respect-showing toward priests and prophets mainly focuses on two areas: listening to their message because it was from God, and taking care of their livelihood.

What about New Testament teaching? Apostle John talks about respect in his postcard to Gauis, when he rebukes Diotrephes because he “does not acknowledge our authority.”

Paul and Peter talk about the spiritual authority of elders and apostles:

Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching… Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses.1 Timothy 5:17, 19

Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5

Paul goes on to address the issue in his third letter to Corinth [2 Corinthians], especially chapter 10, where he defends his authority as an apostle. But he always roots his authority back to Scripture, and to Christ.

He [or another writer] speaks in Hebrews about our need to submit to and obey our leaders because they will give a report to God. But if there was any question about what Paul meant when he taught his spiritual authority, it’s clear what he practiced in the area of receiving respect. In Lystra, after he had performed a miracle, the people stage-rushed him and said…

“The gods have come down to us in the likeness of men!” Barnabas they called Zeus, and Paul, Hermes, because he was the chief speaker. And the priest of Zeus, whose temple was at the entrance to the city, brought oxen and garlands to the gates and wanted to offer sacrifice with the crowds. But when the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard of it, they tore their garments and rushed out into the crowd, crying out, “Men, why are you doing these things? We also are men, of like nature with you, and we bring you good news… Acts 14

So what do we do in this matter?

Christ-followers, be sure to give respect to your pastor in the way you listen to his teaching and guidance from Scripture. Be sure to take care of his living needs, and be generous to his family. Submit to his spiritual authority because he will one day give a report to the Chief Pastor about you.

Pastors, remember that you don’t own your authority – its on loan from God, and as Andy Stanley reminded us in his teaching on Nebuchadnezzar, He can revoke it at any time. The honor for your office is tied to how you lead and shepherd from Scripture. Remember that spiritual authority is shared by other elders in the church, and they can hold you accountable and encourage you. Remember that honor is commanded but respect is earned. If you want respect, then you must have conversation and behavior that is worthy of respect – on the stage, in the coffee shop, in the staff meeting, in Twitter, in your blog.

I trust this generation of leaders won’t return to the behavior of some in a past generation of pastors. My dad told me the story of a prominent pastor speaking at a conference nearly 40 years ago. He was explaining to the pastors how he demanded absolute obedience and respect from his people. To illustrate, he commanded one of his deacons who was present to walk down the aisle and bow in front of him. The man complied. “Pastors, that’s the kind of respect you should have from your people.”

No, that’s the kind of unchecked leadership that caused many pastors in that generation to operate as demagogues, with little accountability and many failures in morals and finances.

In leadership, respect is not to be manufactured – it is to be manifested.

Perhaps the memory of Leader who rolled up His sleeves, knelt down, and washed our feet will guide us as we lead.

An unbeliever come to your church, stand and applaud, saying “What an awesome church!”

Or…

An unbeliever come to your church, fall down and exclaim “God is really among you!”

The latter is possible… but the former tends to be our unconscious default.

Don’t misunderstand, there’s nothing wrong with wanting people to think our church is awesome – after all, we’ve worked, sacrificed, dreamed, and prayed that they would find our church to be a welcoming, relevant place of excellence and inspiration.

But ultimately, neither excellence, creativity, experience, nor warmth can change a life.

Only the presence of God can change a life.

Here’s what Paul said, and it should be our goal as church leaders:

But if an unbeliever or an inquirer comes in while everyone is prophesying, they are convicted of sin and are brought under judgment by all, as the secrets of their hearts are laid bare. So they will fall down and worship God, exclaiming, “God is really among you!” 1 Corinthians 14:24-25

God working through the words spoken through His people, applied to the visitor, could actually validate His presence in that service. What would it take in your church for unbelievers to conclude, “God is really here”? I have had that experience in both churches I’ve served, where new people say, “I don’t know what all is going on here, but I was drawn here, and it feels like God is here.”

I’d rather have the presence of God than praise for a cool church.

Here’s a checklist. Are you truly desiring people to see God presence through each of these areas, or are you programming and leading so that people just think your church is awesome? Be honest…

• Website/signage/ads/promo
• Guest services
• Facilities
• Children’s ministry
• Student ministry
• Adult ministry
• Outreach
• Worship services
• Music
• Teaching

This small family chose to give up their hearts to God’s care, and in the process the daughter also decided to give up her baby to another couple’s care. This unexpected child would be adopted.

I was honored when the family asked me to come to a small ceremony in which my young friend would say her good-byes and pass her baby to the waiting arms of the adoptive couple. I was overwhelmed by the moment. I watched the face of the mother – too young to have to grapple with this moment, full of pain, longing, but courageous enough to choose a better life for her baby. I watched the waiting parents, years of wanting a child, now this open door, and the joy of receiving the answer to their prayers. And I watched the baby, a little girl, totally oblivious to my extended prayer of blessing on everyone involved, blissfully self-centered.

But she will grow up knowing the deep love and grace of her story. A young mother who so loved her that she chose a better path for her, and in doing so sacrificed her own desires. A couple who chose to open their family to someone they didn’t know.
And that’s what Easter is about. A Savior who had created us and then lost us to our own painful choices. A Savior who was willing to sacrifice His own desires and well-being to open a better path for us. A Father who pursued us even in our sin, and adopted us back into sonship with Him. And I have to admit, I felt a little like the Holy Spirit in that moment, praying over this child, assisting the mother as she passed her little girl over to the new parents.

I’m thankful for this picture I experienced. And most of all I am thankful for the deep love and grace of God that provided us with a life-saving adoption.

In the same way we also, when we were children, were enslaved to the elementary principles of the world. But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. Galatians 4

he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. Ephesians 1

Now after the Sabbath, toward the dawn of the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. 2 And behold, there was a great earthquake, for  an angel of the Lord descended from heaven and came and rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3 His appearance was like lightning, and his clothing white as snow. 4 And for fear of him the guards trembled and became like dead men. 5 But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. 6 He is not here, for he has risen,  as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. 7 Then go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him. See, I have told you.” 8 So they departed quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9 And behold, Jesus met them and said, “Greetings!” And they came up and took hold of his feet and worshiped him. 10 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me.”

62 The next day, that is, after the day of  Preparation, the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered before Pilate 63 and said, “Sir, we remember how that impostor said, while he was still alive, ‘After three days I will rise.’ 64 Therefore order the tomb to be made secure until the third day, lest his disciples go and steal him away and tell the people, ‘He has risen from the dead,’ and the last fraud will be worse than the first.” 65 Pilate said to them, “You have  a guard of soldiers. Go, make it as secure as you can.” 66 So they went and made the tomb secure by  sealing the stone and setting a guard. Matthew 27

• Jesus dies and is buried

21 And they compelled a passerby, Simon of Cyrene, who was coming in from the country, the father of Alexander and Rufus, to carry his cross. 22 And they brought him to the place called Golgotha (which means Place of a Skull). 23 And they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. 24 And they crucified him and divided his garments among them, casting lots for them, to decide what each should take. 25 And it was the third hour when they crucified him. 26 And the inscription of the charge against him read,  “The King of the Jews.” 27 And with him they crucified two robbers, one on his right and one on his left. 29 And  those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads and saying, “Aha!  You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, 30 save yourself, and come down from the cross!” 31 So also the chief priests with the scribes mocked him to one another, saying, “He saved others; he cannot save himself. 32 Let the Christ,  the King of Israel, come down now from the cross that we may see and believe.”  Those who were crucified with him also reviled him.

33 And when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. 34 And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” 35 And some of the bystanders hearing it said, “Behold, he is calling Elijah.” 36 And someone ran and filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink, saying, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to take him down.” 37 And Jesus uttered a loud cry and  breathed his last. 38 And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. 39 And when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, “Truly this man was the Son of God!”

42 And when evening had come, since it was the day of Preparation, that is, the day before the Sabbath, 43 Joseph of Arimathea, a respected member of the Council, who was also himself looking for the kingdom of God, took courage and went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. 44 Pilate was surprised to hear that he should have already died. the centurion, he asked him whether he was already dead. 45 And when he learned from the centurion that he was dead, he granted the corpse to Joseph. 46 And Joseph bought a linen shroud, and taking him down, wrapped him in the linen shroud and laid him in a tomb that had been cut out of the rock. And he rolled a stone against the entrance of the tomb. Mark 15 And summoning

Mark 15:11 But the chief priests stirred up the crowd to have him release for them Barabbas instead. 12 And Pilate again said to them, “Then what shall I do with the man you call the King of the Jews?” 13 And they cried out again, “Crucify him.” 14 And Pilate said to them, “Why, what evil has he done?” But they shouted all the more, “Crucify him.” 15 So Pilate, wishing to satisfy the crowd, released for them Barabbas, and having scourged Jesus, he delivered him to be crucified.

16 And the soldiers led him away inside the palace (that is, the governor’s headquarters), and they called together the whole battalion. 17 And they clothed him in a purple cloak, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on him. 18 And they began to salute him, “Hail, King of the Jews!” 19 And they were striking his head with a reed and spitting on him and kneeling down in homage to him. 20 And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the purple cloak and put his own clothes on him. And they led him out to crucify him.

Mark 14:27 And Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away, because it is written, ‘I WILL STRIKE DOWN THE SHEPHERD, AND THE SHEEP SHALL BE SCATTERED.’ 28 “But after I have been raised, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.” 29 But Peter said to Him, “{Even} though all may fall away, yet I will not.” 30 And Jesus said to him, “Truly I say to you, that this very night, before a rooster crows twice, you yourself will deny Me three times.” 31 But {Peter} kept saying insistently, “{Even} if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!” And they all were saying the same thing also.

Mark 14:33 And He took with Him Peter and James and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled. 34 And He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death; remain here and keep watch.”

Mark 14:43 Immediately while He was still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve, came up accompanied by a crowd with swords and clubs, {who were} from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders.

Mark 14:53 And they led Jesus to the high priest. And all the chief priests and the elders and the scribes came together. 54 And Peter had followed him at a distance, right into the courtyard of the high priest. And he was sitting with the guards and warming himself at the fire. 55 Now the chief priests and the whole Council were seeking testimony against Jesus to put him to death, but they found none.